Maula Jatt tay Wehshi Haseena

Act 1, scene 1: It’s home time. The school is thronged with moms come to pick up their 3-8 years old. The road is lined with cars, vans, bikes, rickshaws, and thelay walas. Everyone is in a hurry to go back home. There is a constant buzz of honking, hand waving and whistling of guards to manage the traffic. Suddenly, a skinny four-year-old maula jatt bursts forth and runs headlong on the road. Running after him is an ok looking haseena imploring him to stop. Haseena: Don’t run on the road. Stop! Maula jatt: I can do it. (Picks even more speed) Haseena lunges after him hauling the bags on her shoulder with a young village belle in tow. Haseena: Wait, let me spot the car. Maula jatt is too focused on running hither and thither and singing a song. ( chal josh dekha day tu, yeh khel dewano ka) Maula jatt spies the car. Maula jatt lets out a holler: THERE! Maula jatt careens past beeping and braking cars to get inside his car, while poor haseena screeches and gazes horrifically. Act 1, Scene 2: Haseena is on a sugar break- that means no white or brown sugar intake. So haseena is having sugar withdrawal symptoms. But she is exhibiting supreme control. However, haseena is hungry and quickly eating rather dreary looking food, when maula jutt makes his entry. Maula jatt: (screaming loudly) I want the big car. Haseena remains focused on her food. Enter Noori Nath. Noori nath: (placidly) yes we will get it, inshAllah, but only after you earn 20 points. Maula jutt turns towards Noori nath with ‘the look’ in his eyes. Maula jutt: I WANT THE CAR. Noori nath looks at haseena. Noori nath: why is he behaving that way? Haseena: (rolling her eyes) because he is hungry. Noori nath and Maula jatt start a tussle of hide and seek. Maula is hiding, Noori is seeking with a plate of food in his hands. This goes on for a while as haseena looks on nonchalantly. Finally haseena has had enough. It’s time to be the wehshi haseena. Haseena gets up, drags maula jatt to the table and threatens him with dire consequences. Maula jatt whimpers for water and finishes his lunch. Wheshi haseena smirks at Noori nath. Noori nath is busy with his own sad song. (Chal dil meray chor ye pheray Ye dunya jhooti log luteray) Act 1, Scene 3: Maula jatt bursts into the scene this time brandishing his gundasa aka roof cleaning broom. He is waving it at the village damsels. One village belle is too engrossed in her latest book of Harry Potter, so no amount of noise and mayhem pulls her out of her lost state. The other damsel is shrieking and running here and there. Damsel 2: Aaahhhhhh Maula jutt: (jeeringly) kuch nahi hua baby. Wheshi haseena is trying to finish her prayers, so Noori nath steps in. Noori nath: Oh look you are very angry, but you can defeat the shaitan. Show who is stronger here. Village belle 2 is still shrieking insanely. Maula jutt:( yelling) mai sabse strong hon!! Noori nath grabs him and tries to wrestle the gandasa from him. (Loud filmi music in the background, while Noori and Maula wrestle and damsel 2 is watching. Damsel 1 is still lost.) Maula jutt is too strong and breaks free from him. Wehnshi haseena forgets her tasbeeh and breathes deeply to calm herself. Maula has a new idea up his sleeve now. Maula: I want Pakistani flag, shirt, pant, headband, watch, wrist band and shoes too. Noori nath just gawks at him. Muala: (taking advantage of momentary loss of speech) I want them now. Let’s go! Maula gets into his signature dance and song sequence. (Maidan jama lay tu Ye khel dewano ka) Maula declares: I am ready. Let’s go, abhi! Noori nath: they are not available right now. We will buy them later in the week. Maula:( not easily deterred) I know a short cut to the store where they are available. Noori nath amused, dashes for the bathroom. Act 2, Scene 3: Maula jutt is ready to go to the store and flourishes his gandasa triumphantly. Wheshi haseena is bracing for the eventual disappointment. She has so far conquered her sugar cravings, but feels her resolve wavering, in the face of the eventual face off. Noori nath is ready to leave for the day. Maula jutt steps in the middle. Maula jutt: are you ready? Noori nath: (trying to sound all pragmatic) beta, have you seen any stalls on your way. There are none right now. Wait for a couple of days more. Maula jutt lets out a holler. Nooooo! Noori nath: (in the original noori fashion) chchch, maulaaa Maula now unleashes his full fury. Ahhhhh!! He collapses on the floor, wailing loudly and flailing his arms and legs. The gandasa is moving wildly in all directions too. Village belle 2 cowers for protection. This time wheshi haseena enters the ukhara and tries to snatch the gandasa from maula. Noori nath is watching. Now who will win? Wheshi haseena wins! She hands over the gandasa to the belle 2 to quickly hide it. Maula jutt lets out another round of yellers. (Very loud filmi music in the background.) Wehshi haseena has her hair flying in all directions now. She gives into the temptation and dives into her secret stash of dark chocolate. Oh, bitter mother of all! Wheshi haseena regains her resolve, grabs maula jutt and holds him tightly to her bosom. Noori nath makes his exit. Belle 2 goes frolicking (zalima coca cola pila day sohniya coca cola pila day) While belle 1 is still oblivious Haseena has tamed the tantrum of maula jutt and he is putty in her hands now. Wheshi haseena finally gets her song and dance sequence, while maula jutt gawks at her. (dildar meray pyar kolon bach kay way das kithay jaye ga!!!!) ke